Battenburg Full

Toni and the Wizard of Oz

Fatigue. It began with endless fatigue. Not your garden variety, "Gee, I am feeling a bit run down these last few days," kind of tired, either. I'd been involved in a relationship that left me exhausted, so I assumed it was to blame. After the relationship ended, I went into seclusion for two months like an animal retreating to heal in her cave. Shortly after I emerged, I noticed the fatigue hadn't abated, but with it now came these unexplained rashes and coughing spells at night.

I sought the help of a colleague MD; she tested my thyroid. The results indicated classic hypothyroidism. She was sure this was the culprit. At least it explained the fatigue. Somewhere in the fog of my own thoughts on my illness, I began to connect the gray discoloration of my once pristine white linoleum floor and my symptoms.

I approached the property manager with my dilemma, showing him the rashes on my arms and legs. My first clue was his lack of surprise--he said that everyone who had lived there before me had complained of black fungus on the walls. He instructed me to douse my floors in a fifty percent bleach solution. Little did I know that by following his directions, I infected myself with the die-off reaction to a deadly mycotoxin.

Intuiting that a dermatologist would be unable to help, I decided to consult my acupuncturist. My sixth sense proved correct, as she observed a metallic smell emanating from my body. Her diagnosis was that I had been exposed to some kind of environmental toxin. Plainly speaking, I panicked. I came home and called my landlord to explain what the property manager had instructed, along with my doctor's assessment. To their credit, an
environmental consultant was dispatched immediately and samples were taken.

While gathering samples, the consultant and I struck up a conversation. He initially warned me that it would take two weeks to get the samples back and that I would have to access that information from the landlord. Within minutes of telling him that my work involved helping people find their vocation of destiny, he told me his real dream was to be a writer. Perhaps that bit of self-revelation moved him because he revealed what he believed was in my house - a word that was foreign at the time but would eventually become as familiar to me as my own name - stachybotris.

"Stacky what?" I replied. "Stachybotris," he said matter of factly, "the black mold." My "Inquiring-minds-want-to-know" personality engaged itself. "Is this the cause of my rash?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Yep," he said. "What do I do?" I exclaimed. "You gotta' get out of here, lady. This stuff kills people!" He gave me the name of a doctor to call. The M.D. told me to take nothing with me that was porous, explaining that stachybotris is invisible until it reaches critical mass. So much so that 250,000 mold spores occupy the space of the head of a pin.

My landlord agreed to put me up in a motel. As I walked out the door of my beach house with the clothes on my back, I took one last glance at my Battenburg Lace and white wicker décor. Instantly I knew that what was most difficult to leave was what tethered me to the past - my photos, and an entire library of
books.

As a psychotherapist, I have devoted my life to developing a therapeutic approach that allows those who embrace it to confront virtually any calamity life may yield. The journey that began in that instant taught me the very lesson I had been teaching others through my LifeQuake model. I learned how to use loss as a rebirth to a more authentic life.

Despite my own depth of focus in this regard, nothing I formulated could've come close to the maelstrom I was ultimately exposed to. One week after my move to the motel that became my home for two months, I gave a workshop based on my seven stage model of moving from crisis to life purpose. Every barrier I could possibly think of was presented to me during that week. I entered my own intensive on continually listening to my inner voice in the face of dramatic blood test results and a grim doctor's prognosis for my recovery. I also did a lot of research on the Internet, so I could be pro-active in my own healing.

I began a protocol to first detox my body, most specifically ingesting herbs and doctor-administered intravenous glutathione for cleansing my liver. (The liver is the organ that purifiesthe body; it can get very blocked from inhaling mycotoxins like stachybotris.) I was then given a prescription drug, cholestyramine; it supposedly binds the neurotoxins in the gut. In my case, it literally bound the gut itself leaving me with spasms and an imbalanced colon.

Because stachybotris compromises the immune system, in my weakened state I also contracted parasites that had to be treated with antibiotics. After my detoxification phase passed I then had to address the allergies and other immune-related symptoms I was still experiencing. I also began a regimen of daily anti-oxidant intake, which included vitamin E, vitamin C, alpha lipoic acid, essential fatty acids, and chlorella.

Then came the emotional detox. I took a good hard look at my life. While in meditation I asked my inner guidance, "What was the function of this illness coming into my life?" And the answer came. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I felt catapulted out of Kansas into unfamiliar territory. As someone who was very attached to her home and beautiful surroundings, the journey I took led me to truly understand the phrase "there's no place like home." I carry my home within me now and like the tin man, the cowardly lion, and the scare crow, I discovered a more compassionate heart, greater courage, and an intuitive brain.

About the Author

Dr. Toni Galardi is a psychotherapist, author, public speaker, and is the advice columnist for Vision Magazine's, "Ask the LifeQuake Doctor". Her recent book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon, is available now through online bookstores and at her website: http://www.lifequake.net.

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